The Tidy Home Myth

First, let me get this out of the way.

If you have a perfectly tidy home or think that everyone should, I am going to invoke the words of Hellen Mirren:

FUCK OFF!!

For the rest of us:

Don't let those people get you down. I read a blog post today about how to have a company ready clean house everyday.

Here's the thing I've learned through my life as a wife and mother and we'll as a human being. This is all crap. I do these things. Almost every single one (I don't make my bed, though I may start because it does look nice), and my house is still a damn wreck.

Baskets/bins? Got it!
Dishes run at night? On it!
Laundry is a daily thing!
Clean as I cook? Do it!
Clean one area every other week? Psh, every week!
The fridge? Ya, hubs has got that covered!

Seriously, we've got these lists covered in spades!

REALITY
I have 2 small children. I put my dishes away most mornings and load the dishwasher throughout the days as needed. But I have 2 small kids. So sometimes, I don't get to it until 10 am or nap time. After I put my babes to bed at night I rotate the laundry, folding whatever is in the dryer and drying whatever is in the washer. The next morning I will start refilling the washer. But at night? Once they are asleep there isn't any laundry to do, because, after bath time I collect all the laundry and start the washer. By the time they are asleep the washer has finished and clothes ready for the dryer.

I love wipes! Clorox, Lysol, Windex, Scrubbing Bubbles etc. They make my life easier. Have a spare 2 minutes? Grab a wipe and get the counters! Grab a wipe and get all the mirrors in the house! This is how a good chunk of my cleaning gets done. I have a spare minute here and there So I grab a wipe and start cleaning something. Toilet seats and tanks, counters, table top, glass stove top, sliding glass door, microwave door, mirrors etc. I wipe down door knobs toos! I meal prep, wipes are good for this too. (Raw poultry sucks). Makes my clean up easier and frees up some time. I don't just meal prep, I plate prep. Each night I set out the serviceware and/or cookware for breakfast. Glasses, bowls, spoons, plates, forks, skillet, waffle iron, whatever it may be. I prep!!

Dude, I use Clorox tabs in my toilet tanks just to make cleaning easier. I have a Roomba, that I love and use multiple times a week. I take every step to keep my home clean. But do you know what happens?

LOVE HAPPENS

A tiny tyrannical three year old whirls through my house like a tornado and BAM! It looks like I was raised in a barn and trying to raise my own kids in one. My husband comes home, and frankly I would rather snuggle up in bed with him than cling to my routine. My infant needs all of me for an entire day and we cloth diaper so that effects our laundry cycles. My beloved canine side kick decides every towel in the house smells so damn good he must roll on all of them. Drag them out into an open space and roll all over dispersing his hair like gold coins to the peasants in Disney's Three Musketeers (redistribute the wealth). Now I must wash more laundry, and vacuum more. And do know how much time for me and for sleep this leaves??

NONE

Absolutely none. That's why, when my husband is home, I don't panic or flip out that the house gets worse, the dishes aren't all cleaned, laundry isn't fully finished, folded, and put away. I don't mind the toothpaste spray on my bathroom mirror. Because for the short periods that he's home, loving him, being loved by him, and loving our kids together...that is so much more important!! That is what keeps me going. That is the gold of life. My husband always wants to leave me with less mess, less to take care of and do. But in doing so he leaves me with less of him. So I continually stress that he doesn't need to. Because loving on him and being loved by him, that's a part of self care. That's the part that feeds into my soul and our marriage. Makes me strives to be a better me.

I told our housing person the other day that I don't keep a clean house, just so that other people can feel good about their homes. I'm considerate like that. She politely laughed, but trust me; should she ever get married and have kids someday she will appreciate my comment more.