In this life, this crazy military life, you cannot succeed (forget thrive, you can't even succeed) without the love and support from friends/family. Really, those friends become your family. They understand your struggles. They understand when you're going on day 8 or 15 of a TDY or deployment and are about to lose your fucking mind. They understand when you're irrationally furious at your spouse because they're on day 9 of 12+ hour work days and no days off. They understand the struggle of the single car military family. It is this community of friends that keep you sane. They will have your back through it all. Can't handle life today? Get all the kids in one place and co-parent. Sick? They will bring you food. Going to be late to pick up a kid from school? They've got you covered. Heck, I didn't even bother letting my friend know I would be a minute or two (literally just over a minute) late for preschool pick up and guess what? Her husband (whom I wasn't expecting to see at pick up) waited until I got there to collect their kids and head home himself. The guy might as well be uncle to my children. In our current state culture, that's actually the appropriate the title for our dear friends. It is friends like these that make military life possible. I needed to run 2 towns over after collecting some records the other week. One of my amazing ohana let me leave the babes with her while I ran off to try to beat construction/rush hour traffic.
In our life, we have to create community over and over again. Depending on the branch, that is easier or harder. For us, it's harder. We are seldom in areas with large populations and sometimes we're hated. But on this occasion we're on a large base mixed with all of the other branches; we've been able to make friends with all sorts of people and we have found our family here. I love it here, and that is largely thanks to our amazing military ohana here. Need to go for a run but hubs is on duty? No worries, someone will watch your kids while you get your run in. These are the people that, don't just keep you sane, but become family. In every sense of the word, every fiber of my being that had the meaning of family instilled in me while growing up agrees that these people are family. But outside of our community this love, compassion, and dedication to each other seems very bizarre. Yet to us, this is just life.
In this life, I will drive up on your lawn at just about 0410 and wait for you to climb in. I don't know your last name, you're just a casual friend that is also a runner. And here is where my 2 worlds collide. Ohm you're a runner and you need a ride to the half marathon too!? Climb in! And yes, at 0dark30 I may drive up on the lawn in front of your house. I'll also pull a driving maneuver that gives away that my roots run deep on Los Angeles' freeways. That's right, I pulled off a 4 lane lane change at the split. I had a car of runners, my 2 regular running partners and 1 casual friend that also needed a ride. Our running paces of various times and varying experiences. I have run marathons on one end and on the other my wonderful friend ran her first half!! I'm so proud of her for not only running more of it than she originally planned and finishing, but she also met her time goal!! My casual friend (who after this needs to actually be a friend) has run a handful of them and posted the best time of our group. My other running partner is a fucking rockstar. Shut up. Seriously, stop shaking your head at your screen and accept that you are not nearly as badass as she is. She has run 4 half marathons-all while pregnant and this last one, she is 33 weeks pregnant!! Go get your lazy butts up off the couch and do something, because she is making us all look bad. I am friends with some seriously baddass people. Scoot those 3 aside because that half marathon would never have been run if it weren't for the amazing friend that slept at my house and stayed with my kids while I ran. She had to wake up early with my kids, because they don't sleep in like hers, and deal with all of their craziness. She is a champ! I got to meet, in person, a friend from FB. We've been in this CG journey together for 2+ years and we just got to meet in person. It was awesome! She is my family.
All of these things though, they come at a price. And it's steep. Tomorrow one of these amazing people and her beautiful babies will leave our island. There will not be a tearful goodbye at the airport. No. We're not like that. Don't get me wrong. I started crying yesterday and it's hard. I cried today on her couch for a minute. My heart is breaking. They are leaving for family reasons, so I cannot treat this the same way as a PCS. My heart breaks for our kids that have become so close, that I will not get to see them as much, that my running buddy and dear friend is hurting so much. My heart is in fucking pieces right now. I love them as family, and I know we will see each other again (I will go visit no doubt, and we could still be stationed near them). But still, this is the price we pay. We are forged together through the trials of the military and we will overcome the distance, but the initial heart break is still very real. Tomorrow, she will braid my daughter's hair one last time and our boys will get one last playdate before we walk out of her back gate like every other day; only this time is the last time. Military Ohana is strong, we have to be.
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